I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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