We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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