turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
high people should be assigned attendants
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
