I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Randomize
