My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
