oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
