12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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