Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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