He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
