so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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