I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I have aggressive nipples.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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