Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
