she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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