He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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