Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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