my mouth tastes like poor choices
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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