Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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