well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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