Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
