The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
pray to the hookup gods
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Randomize
