Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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