my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
