I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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