Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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