We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
