I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
