We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize