she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
