i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
