if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
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