I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
