The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
handjob tips. give me some.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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