FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
