i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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