Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
