another moral hangover. fuck.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
