I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
