I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
