if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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