real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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