I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
