I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
