Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
