Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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