she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
