Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
kristin has been a bad kristin
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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