Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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