whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I think my fart just growled at me.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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