I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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