I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
