STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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