Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
