Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
he fucked my hip out of place.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
