That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
