I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize
