At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
