Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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