You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
