fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
